My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
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