god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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