just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
