Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
