Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
