Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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