So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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