I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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