That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
