Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why didn't you poke me back
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
