please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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