HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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