The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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