defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
