Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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