you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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