so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
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Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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