I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
