so explain again why im purple
no
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
