hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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