She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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