Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
