Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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