I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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