hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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