She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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