That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
