I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
