We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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