foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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