wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
