You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize