I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
In America we eat man semen.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
