do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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