My brain says no but my pants say off.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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