is your mom at the bar?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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