"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He shit in the fireplace
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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