in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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