Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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