Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
