he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
