If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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