Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
