Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
