he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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