Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
