Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize