First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have fence marks all over my body
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
