apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
