one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
