Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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