My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
