The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
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Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize