Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
