My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
