I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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