Plan B is the new Plan A
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
