watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
