Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
