there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
